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Political exile Naomi Wolf sends out a terrible warning to the world from London, where she has taken asylum since fleeing the United States.

LONDON – In a recent editorial in The Guardian, heroic American political dissident Naomi Wolf sent out a chilling message to the world: the dark night of fascism has finally fallen in the United States instead of Europe. In her gruesome description of her former homeland, Ms. Wolf paints a nightmare landscape of the American dictatorship in which all of the worst fears of prudent and civic-minded progressives have seemingly come true.

“I never thought it could happen to America the Beautiful™,” Naomi told us as she hugged her bundle of small American flags closer to her. “I didn’t want to believe that the country I loved so dearly, the government that I respected so deeply, and the troops that I supported so unconditionally would turn into this. But after the things I’ve seen, I can’t pretend anymore.”

Naomi cried a little as she contemplated her framed copy of the United States Constitution and sipped from her 84 oz Statue of Liberty GIGA-Gulp® mug. But who can blame her? In her editorial this week she details the specifics of what she calls the new “Fascist States of Bushitlerburton,” and the story she tells may very well make the first Hitler’s spinning corpse drill its way to the center of the Earth. She outlines the ten steps that any fascist dictator takes to solidify power and describes how Herr Bush has expanded on them in ways that would make Mussolini throw up his hands in holy horror!

* Invoke a terrifying internal and external enemy: “It never occurred to me that something would be amiss in the Land I Love™ when dur Fuhrer told us that there was a global conspiracy of brown people who wanted to eat our babies,” Naomi shuddered as she cradled her bust of President George Washington. “Sure, I was a little surprised that it wasn’t the Jews this time, but I was blinded by my hope, optimism, and fiery patriotism to the point that I believed the basic goodness of America would steer us true.” She shook her head forlornly as she stroked the head of her American bald eagle, Patriot, and began to hum the refrain from the American national anthem.

But there was something amiss, as she writes in her editorial. Whereas she, like most God fearing Americans, believed that the brainchild of the shadowy and reclusive Karl Rove – this “War on Terror” – was a very specific conflict between the culture of liberal democracy and the culture of Islamic totalitarianism, the truth was far more broad. Under the guise of the “War on Terror” everyone who was darker than a lunch bag was suddenly under suspicion of “terrorism” no matter who they were. Pakistani mothers weaving American flags, African humanitarians planting apple trees, and even journalists who became too tan from long hours in the sun hand-polishing war memorials were now under suspicion, while no one batted an eye as roaming troops of fundamentalist Quakers invaded schools, bombed buses, and gang raped black ballet dancers working their way through college.

* Create a Gulag: Naomi, while engraving her marble effigy of Abraham Lincoln with the Pledge of Allegiance, told us, “When the media released classified information about the CIA detainment facilities, I naturally assumed that there was nothing illegal going on, that the Constitution of the United States only applies to citizens of the United States, and that the treacherous media was trying to stir up dissent. Little did I know what was really happening in the CIA Torture Camps!”

In her article Naomi describes how, instead of just detaining enemy combatants as spies and saboteurs, the Bushitler Regime was actually plucking American citizens off of the streets of their quaint, quiet little towns at random and sending them to be brutally tortured with grisly medieval devices. As American citizens, as opposed to foreign militants captured in battle without a uniform in violation of the Geneva Convention and thus held as saboteurs, these people’s constitutional rights were destroyed as they were held indefinitely without trial or legal council, many of them “rendered” to the Torture Gulag merely for speaking aloud that perhaps America might some day consider funding the United Nations.

* Develop a Thug Caste: “When I heard the news story of a group of young Republicans allegedly menacing vote counters in 2000, I took it as an isolated incident,” Naomi told us as she tattooed “God Bless America” on her forearm. “But then more stories came out about how the Lord Protector Bush was using the Republican party to cultivate a private army of brainwashed radical Christian theocrats! When they weren’t corralling the young men into the Congressional Page Dorms for a naked sleepover, they were training them to burn history books, bomb science laboratories, and wield giant crosses as weapons to behead Jewish Justices on the Supreme Court.” As if this was not horrific enough, according to Ms. Wolf’s revealing expose of the dark regime, the Fuhrer used his Party to corrupt otherwise free-thinking Americans to betray their patriotic sensibilities and join the evil army. People, who in their right minds would not have even dreamed of supporting the evil regime, were coerced into joining; Women, Blacks, Jews, Hispanics, even Atheists were not immune to the dark allure of the Party’s new thug caste. Now, according to Naomi, they prowl the streets enforcing the will of the Emperor and intimidating or “disappearing” anyone who speaks out for freedom or is darker than a UPS box.

* Set Up an Internal Surveillance System: As Naomi sat down at her piano and swayed to the sound of her fingers playing “The Star Spangled Banner” she told us, “When the New York Times released classified government secrets during war time regarding domestic wire-tapping, I naturally assumed that the Times was just guilty of espionage and nothing more. I was led to believe by the government that the wiretapping program was actually quite legal, very clearly protected our civil liberties, and actually only spied on people making frequent suspicious calls to terrorists.” The truth, as Naomi describes in her editorial, was that the American government was actually spying on many Americans at random in an effort to keep them docile and inhibit activism and dissent. Ordinary Americans were spied upon and put under investigation, seemingly at random, though of course a pattern arose of targeting journalists and otherwise innocuous sheiks from peaceful mosques. Soon enough, the government had cultivated a climate of fear where no one was able to speak to each other over the phone or on the internet or even through the mail, lest their conversation be read and they be “rendered” to a Rovian Gulag in Cuba.

* Harass Citizens Groups: Naomi, while setting out an apple pie to cool on her window ledge, told us, “I had always thought that many dissident groups under surveillance by the government actually deserved it. It was common knowledge that Islamic terrorists and their proxies were ideological allies with leftist environmental, anti-war, and socialist groups and were known to use them as cover for more direct attacks on the United States. But, since coming to the realization that there is no threat from radical Islam, it also dawned on me that my government was harassing a wide range of peace-loving patriot groups who were every bit as America-loving as they claimed.”

But by the time she realized this, it was long since too late for her to do anything. Ms. Wolf, after learning the truth of the “Islamic Totalitarianism” myth, began to see how many of the citizen groups that she had thought were merely doctrinaire communists, anti-Americans, terrorist-sympathizers, and arguable traitors, were actually not in any danger of being used by an alleged terrorist threat, but were actually pioneers struggling against the falling dark night of fascism that Naomi, before then, was too blinded by love for and loyalty to America to see.

* Engage in Arbitrary Detention and Release: In her heroic work about the fascist regime she escaped from, Naomi describes how innocent, ordinary, and completely loyal Americans were put on so-called “terrorist watch lists” for no apparent reason. People like peaceful and America-supporting anti-war activists, extremely patriotic and politically neutral lecturing professors at Ivy League universities, diplomatic representatives from long-time friends and closely allied nations like Venezuela, and peaceful Muslim clergymen for peaceful pro-American anti-Hamas peace were all on such insidious “lists.” “All these people I didn’t bat an eye at,” she writes in The Guardian, “But then the ‘lists’ began to include almost anybody and everybody. People who may have said something in conversation to a friend about the United States suddenly found themselves being arrested on trumped up charges or no charges at all.” She goes on to retell many a harrowing tale of how innocent citizens, many of them even supporting of the Bush Regime, found themselves detained without cause or even “disappeared” to the Cheneyburton Torture Camps. It soon became obvious that, in the Fascist States of Bushitlerburton, you did not have to do anything to get arrested by the Rovian Theocrat Gestapo. On the contrary, it eventually turned out that they would arrest people completely at random most of the time, just to perpetuate the atmosphere of fear.

* Target Key Individuals: “When certain key people like academics began to feel pressured, I didn’t think anything of it,” Naomi says as she polishes her life-size replica of the Liberty Bell. “When I heard that some academics were pressured or threatened with firing when they taught students that Bush was responsible for 9-11 or discussed assassination of the Vice President, I thought they deserved to get straightened out. Or when members of dur Fuhrer’s own government in the military or CIA actively subverted his political agenda, released classified information, and publicly undermined the President of the United States, I supported the decisions to railroad and marginalize them. I thought they were betraying their station.” Naomi told us that realizing the truth behind the terror myth has opened her eyes to the world around her. “Those people are the real patriots,” she said through tears as she stitched together a home-made American flag. “Now that I know Islamic Totalitarianism isn’t real, I see the fascism for what it is! Those poor, innocent, loyal Americans were marginalized by this administration for nothing more than revealing the truth and struggling for freedom!” They were people bravely destroying the evil regime from the inside, she writes in her article, and trying to stop it before it became to powerful. They were the warriors on the front lines for liberty while the rest of America slept.

* Control the Press: “The press is a funny thing,” Naomi writes. “Because when the old media began to change soon after Bush took office, I assumed it was naturally a market consequence of them previously being archly anti-American scavengers of human misery who would sacrifice any number of American lives if it meant undermining an opposition politician.” The truth ended up being that old media like the New York Times was just losing money because no one wanted to read it anymore, but their demise was not fast enough for the Bushites. Soon after releasing the truth of the governments torture rooms and domestic spy rings, many journalists were rounded up and sent to rot in the very torture camps that they had reported upon. The news media in America soon became overwhelmingly favorable to an administration that was otherwise unpopular. News outlets only printed positive news of the degenerating conflicts in Iraq while regurgitating poll after poll conducted by the White House showing surprisingly high favorability ratings for the administration. Additionally, many news stories began to appear alleging all kinds of hideous crimes and scandals involving opposition politicians and dissident public figures, interspersed with many outlandish horror stories about the International Brown People conspiracy. All the while the administration was perpetuating a string of ghastly crimes right under the noses of the chilled American media while they dutifully said nothing.

* Dissent Equals Treason: This of course is a naked attempt to crush dissent, Naomi writes, and is pretty transparent overall. Even though many “dissenters” were, technically, engaging in espionage against the United States and giving aid and comfort to the enemies or the United States or levying war against the United States, the specific definition for treason according to the U.S. Constitution, Naomi knows know that they were right to do just that. It was legitimate dissent to release secret documents during war, and it was speaking out for freedom to support and give aid to America’s enemies: because they were not America’s enemies, but enemies of the fascist Bush regime, much like Ms. Wolf is today.

* Suspend the Rule of Law: The Fuhrer is the law. The Fuhrer rules by decree and anyone who says differently is promptly kidnapped and sent to the camps. Certainly, it is technically legal and sometimes even prudent to call on the national guard to restore order during a crisis, in the hands of this fascist regime it is nothing but a tool against the people to enforce the Bush doctrine.

“It took a great deal for me to wake up to the truth,” Naomi tells us as she hammers out the frame for her model replica of the Declaration of Independence. “But it became obvious one day that it was all just too good to be true. I must be living in a fascist regime. I looked around one day and all the congressmen, senators, mayors, governors, journalists, ambassadors, news casters, CIA agents, soldiers, veterans, staff members, attorneys, bureaucrats, teachers, college professors, scientists, actors, producers, students, protesters, activists, house wives, hippies, and civil rights leaders who had been screeching 24/7 at the top of their lungs that Bush was evil… when that army of screaming dissidents suddenly shut up, that’s when I knew they were right.”

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